sadness

I hear people go through stages of grief about losing a job. I can't figure out how to maintain a positive outlook. I can't discern whether my hope of finding a way to make an independent living is realistic. All these years I've relied on the super-gigantic Catholic World for a living. I don't want to cultivate resentments... I'd like to uproot them and move on. But maybe I have to mourn first. So how do I mourn and prospect for work at the same time? How do I extricate myself from the vortex of self doubt, depression and fear. I want to visit Devin in June. If I don't secure work I'll end up spending dangerously close to all the money I have. But I don't think I can face life if I don't go to visit.